Connection

You Are Not for Everyone

You are not for everyone

 

 

 

“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” – Dita Von Teese

 

This week I was reminded that no matter how juicy the peach, there will be people who don’t like peaches. (Come to think of it, I don’t know if I like peaches…)

 

Being a creative soul, my heart is a little sensitive when it comes to my ‘work’. My love would like to argue sometimes that there is no difference between the passion a plumber has for his work and me and my art (can I call it art? Hell yes, I can!) but on this matter I tend to disagree.

 

When you criticise my photos or in the case of this week, when I am overlooked for a job that I would have given my right arm to do, for someone I adore, it hurts.  I can’t just brush it off, I don’t think “oh well, what do you know!” Because I care what they think. I take it personally, because it is personal. I want you to be happy, I want you to look at my work and FEEL something.

 

I wish it didn’t affect me like this, but it does. It isn’t being conceited, it isn’t thinking I ‘should’ have gotten that job (photography is such a personal medium, you need to work with who resonates and hey, if I don’t resonate that is totally cool) it is just that my art, is a part of my heart. I am a softy, I feel it and hopefully that feeling is what makes my work unique.

 

When we are overlooked it can bring up a whole heap of ‘STUFF’ worthiness stuff, icky stuff that we know we ‘shouldn’t’ feel.

 

This week, I captured images that I am so, so, so proud of.  Images that evoke feeling, images that capture a moment in time, that have an essence of love about them and I love that. Yet my mind wanders to ideas of not being talented enough, not being ‘good’ enough, not being liked enough to be chosen elsewhere. It’s a crappy feeling.

 

So I have decided to choose myself, I choose to nurture myself, to be kind to myself and honour my work. The work that I have done, the joy it conveys and try not to let my mind wander to what ‘could’ have been.

 

How can we do this? How do we just get over it? It can take a bit of work, because let’s face it, thoughts like this don’t just vanish because we know they should. What works for me in the interim?

 

My suggestion is to talk to a trusted friend, sometimes you just need to say it out loud, as silly as it feels. You are allowed to feel hurt but you aren’t (neither am I) allowed to dwell on it. Opportunities come and go, but your sanity and belief in relation to your work shouldn’t! Time to get up and get on with it. We are all unique and have different things to offer. Being connected to our work is such a beautiful thing, but is so different to being attached to it; what other people think of you is none of your business beautiful. Now to remember that!

 

Does this sound familiar or do you have any tips for me? I would love to hear from you in the comments below.

 

Much love, em x

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6 Comments

  • Reply
    Jasmin
    September 25, 2015 at 9:37 pm

    Twinnies this week… my thoughts exactly xxx Love it x

    • Reply
      Emma
      September 29, 2015 at 12:55 pm

      thanks beautiful, always connected you and I! x

  • Reply
    Chris Campbell
    September 26, 2015 at 1:32 pm

    Thanks for using my image. You can see more on my instagram @chrisjoelcampbell

  • Reply
    Katie
    September 30, 2015 at 12:36 pm

    Yes – I do and have definitely felt this way. Not everyone is going to like us. And in all honesty – we don’t like everyone either. It’s just not reality is it? When you’re a creative soul and so passionate about what you do – I think it’s natural to take a “knock back” personally. You are so not alone. And if it helps – I adore all your work and images xx

  • Reply
    Shannon
    September 30, 2015 at 6:07 pm

    I love what you’ve written here. When you pour your soul into your work, it is so easy to get hurt when it gets critiqued or overlooked. It’s like a part of you that you’ve put out in the world. But I love your advice that we can’t dwell on it and we can’t let our happiness be dictated by someone else’s opinions. Whenever I start those sabotaging negative thoughts or experience a bit of a set back, I try and think of what I would tell one of my brilliant, talented best friends. We’re so much more supportive of others than we are to ourselves.

  • Reply
    Michelle
    September 30, 2015 at 8:49 pm

    Well said! I think that’s a really hard but important life lesson for us all to learn – no matter how hard we try, or how much we love what we have created; there will always be someone who doesn’t agree. And as much as it sucks, it’s what makes the world so beautiful and unique, because we’re all different 🙂
    I’m a super sensitive soul, and am still trying to navigate how to deal with these disappointments in life!

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