Utopia | Part One | Mastering your Mean Girl with Melissa Ambrosini


Welcome to the first in a little four part series on the amazing speakers at this years Utopia Women’s Wellness event in Brisbane. Such an amazing day, so many notes taken (so many my pen died!) a few deep breathing exercises and so much love. So let’s kick off with the divine Melissa Ambrosini.

The nervous anticipation in the crowd, the chatter between friends, the familiar faces scattered in a sea of amazing women.

It is Utopia, literally Utopia.

The first in a stellar line up of motivational speakers, one of my personal favourites Melissa Ambrosini. Her “12 Steps to Wellness” was one of the first eBooks I purchased (only the universe knows how many have followed, I refuse to tally it up for fear of falling off my chair). Melissa oozes authenticity and generosity through her words, her blog and even more so in person.

The music starts, the familiar tones of Pharrell Williams fill the room and everyone is on their feet, Melissa commanding the stage with her own self confessed “daggy dance moves.” If only we all looked so amazing looking daggy! (Oh shush up Mean Girl, My daggy dance moves are AMAZING!) This Mean Girl I speak of lives inside me, she no doubt has a place inside of you too. You might know her as your ego… that sometimes nasty little voice that tells you your dance moves are shit, you look like a fool and you really shouldn’t have eaten that cupcake.

In the space of 45 minutes, Melissa covered so many juicy topics, with the main focus being Love vs Fear. What holds us back in life, the fear of not being enough, learning how to make friends with that inner mean girl and knowing how important it is to turn down her volume!

There is so much I could say about this session but I will let Melissa’s simple yet potent points do the talking.

Some of my favourite take outs were;

1. Choose love over fear

So many things in this session resonated with me but mostly what continues to ring loud and clear is fact that you have a choice! You can live from a place of fear or choose love. Exercise, not for the fear of getting fat, but for the love of your body, to keep it fit and strong. Love, not for the fear of being alone but for the beautiful connection you experience when you do. Eat from a place of nourishment and not from deprivation. Choose Love, not fear. Simple! Well the change may not come easy, but it is most certainly worth it. In every moment you have this choice and I love that fact. Notice in your body how that makes you feel. When you make a choice, do you know the difference? Tune into it. Learn.

2. Make friends with your Mean Girl

You may never get ‘rid’ of her but you can certainly know when she is speaking to you, take her for lunch, laugh at her jokes and tell her to pipe down! The three steps to this include;

  • Awareness – Be aware of her presence
  • Action – Choose LOVE, laugh at her and come back to the present moment.
  • Practice – Getting her to pipe down is a moment to moment practice, be kind.

 3. Expectations ruin relationships (One of my personal favs)

This applies across the board; it could be the relationship with your partner, your mother or your kids. How often do we let the weight of expectations ruin a perfectly good day? Melissa refers to this as an “Expectation Hangover.” Ease up on others and on yourself. (Expectations on yourself can be just as harmful as with those you love, cause baby you are important!)

4. You are NOT your stories

If you put every story you have ever told yourself about your worth into a backpack and left it behind, who would you be? So often we miss the magic of the moment, because we are worried about the past or maybe the future. Love lives in the present moment; show up in your life whole and present and watch the magic unfold.

5. What would Love do?

Melissa speaks of a time where she had slaved over a hot stove (with love of course) for dinner with a friend who cancelled 10 mins before arrival, in that moment, most people would have been shitty, annoyed and probably quite passive aggressive. Melissa asked what love would do? Her response was then kind, loving and understanding. (I will be honest, I would normally be the ranting passive aggressive lunatic)

Love wants what’s best for those around you, before overreacting or snapping ask yourself, what would love do? Easier said than done, but I do love this concept and plan to try to ask this question in as many moments as possible.


From start to finish, so many delish and juicy moments in between!

My favourite part of Melissa’s 45 minutes came from a seemly awkward activity at the end of the session where one group was asked to stand up, take a few seconds to think of something they wish they had been told when they were younger. Melissa then asked that they repeat this by whispering in the ear of three people they didn’t know. People squirmed, people shimmied and people whispered in strangers ears. It was perfection. I wondered what everyone else in the room heard in those precious whispers; I can only assume that it is EXACTLY what they needed to hear at that precise moment, because that is certainly what it was for me, it honestly couldn’t have been more perfect.There were three beautiful ladies who told me their secrets, but only one I remember…

“You can be anything you want to be”

For more amazing bites of inspiration, meditations and gorgeous free content, jump over and visit Melissa at

Where in your life can you choose Love? Did you attend Utopia and have this experience for yourself? I would love to hear from you in the comments below.

Much love, em x

Previous Story
Next Story

You Might Also Like


  • Reply
    Diana Braybrooke
    September 30, 2014 at 3:42 am

    I have been saying over and over “what would love do?” It was funny because I organised to meet with a friend the following day after Utopia and she had to cancel because she was stressed about moving house. I applied that “what would love to?” And said sure…it sounds like you have a lot on your mind, we will catch up when you are all settled into your new place. Usually I’d be disappointed but not this time :). Emma you write so beautifully. Keep it up.

    • Reply
      September 30, 2014 at 3:47 am

      Thanks beautiful Diana, so happy to hear you have been implementing too. I had so many lovely Ah-ha moments on Sunday, was so lovely to spend some time with you darling girl x

  • Reply
    September 30, 2014 at 9:32 am

    Such a beautiful summary of an amazing session. It was truly beautiful hey?! The last five minutes had me in tears, I’ll share my little secret, stop worrying an buying into fear. Can’t wait to read the rest in this series.

    • Reply
      October 1, 2014 at 8:41 am

      Thanks Caitlin, it really was amazing, I certainly held back the tears. Love your little secret. Just perfect! x

  • Reply
    Melissa Ambrosini
    September 30, 2014 at 9:57 am

    Thank you so much for this beautiful write up sweetie pie. I am so glad you got so much out of it. I can’t wait to see you next time. Keep up all the awesome work and keep mastering your Mean Girl.


    • Reply
      September 30, 2014 at 9:33 pm

      Oh Melissa, I certainly did. I also watched your new video series this morning and it is absolutely perfect, hoping all my ladies will jump on and check it out. You are divine, thanks for shining a light beautiful x

  • Reply
    WHAT’S LIGHTING ME UP | 3 October 2014 | some wild darling
    October 3, 2014 at 3:12 am

    […] I got to spend the day with a gorgeous new friend, listen to amazing speakers and meet some of the women who’s work I really admire. You can find the first of my four part series of this amazing wellness event HERE. […]

  • Reply
    Utopia | Part Two | Inspiring Change – Hormones and Your Wellbeing with Nat Kringoudis | some wild darling
    October 9, 2014 at 1:42 am

    […] Now for Utopia Part Two, the gorgeous hormone revolutionist Nat Kringoudis! I love this woman and her philosophy and was super excited to meet her in the flesh. If you missed Part One you can find it over here. […]

  • Reply
    Utopia | Part Three | Beauty from the Inside Out with Dr Libby Weaver | some wild darling
    October 21, 2014 at 2:39 am

    […] we are, instalment three of my Utopia Odyssey, you can find one and two right here if you missed them. So let’s get to […]

  • Reply
    Utopia | Part Four | The Yoga Experience with Charlotte Dodson | some wild darling
    October 30, 2014 at 1:34 am

    […] final of my four instalments of the darling event that was Utopia.  If you missed my thoughts on Melissa, Nat or Dr Libby just click away and have a read. But first let’s talk about the gorgeous light […]

  • Reply
    Navigating Grief :: When We Want to Help Others Avoid the Stingers | some wild darling
    March 2, 2015 at 1:07 pm

    […] I say attempting because it can sometimes be bloody hard) in every interaction we have every day. Expectations kill relationships. At this point in the road having zero expectation is so important. Let them know you love them and […]

  • Reply
    Expectations Ruin Relationships : My Story | Some Wild Darling
    December 17, 2015 at 9:42 am

    […] words rang so true when I first heard them come from the beautiful Melissa Ambrosini, just over 12mths ago and I thought I had done really well implementing this divine idea. Don’t get me wrong, with my […]

  • Leave a Reply