Connection

The Crazy Things We Say to Ourselves

Self Talk

 

I have been working with a Phenomenal coach for the last month or so (yes, even coaches have coaches) and I can’t believe the changes I have seen in myself already. Changes that I have tried, time and time again that never seem to stick.

 

TOUCH WOOD. (Yes, I am crazy superstitious).

 

Today, I want to share a little something we worked on last week, something that really struck a chord (and hopefully it will for you too). During our session I was asked to write down the awful things/stories I say to myself in my head… FUN! (Please note my sarcasm)  Now there were the ones I was conscious of, that I know well, that I know are my stories, but there were a few ah ha moments in there.

 

The boring ones like:

+ You won’t achieve anything while you are fat

+ You are not enough

+ You are just the fat one

+ You won’t amount to anything

 

Nothing new there… but the ones that had shown up for me earlier that week were a little new to the realisation, I knew the conversation had happened in my head, but had never recognised they may not, in fact be true.

 

They went a little something like this:

+ You talk too much

+ You dominate the conversation

+ They don’t like you, they just tolerate you

+ You have nothing to offer

+ They aren’t laughing with you, they are laughing at you

 

 

And that was in the presence of some of my beautiful Soul Sisters. Wowser.

 

Reading these, out loud, was a pretty painful, uncomfortable experience but it was enlightening and a pretty amazing exercise, to vocalise the terrible things that sometimes run on rote in my head.

 

Now it is totally possible (and in some but definitely not all cases probable) that there is in fact some truth in these statements, but Emma, why so mean? I think it is time for a reframe…

 

So this week I am focusing on rewriting these stories, as in literally re-writing them into kinder statements. Hopefully, the stories are done with, ready to be released really soon; but in the meantime, if they have to be said, they will be said with kindness, not malice.

 

Yes, I plan on killing them with Kindness…

 

Is there a story you tell yourself that needs a reframe? Or even a release.

If you want to be brave, I would love to hear them in the comments below

 

Much love, em x

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6 Comments

  • Reply
    Elle
    January 27, 2016 at 4:50 pm

    Beautiful word Emma, and so bravely shared! Thank you.
    I have been subtly uncovering some of my own negative ‘stories’, some of them include:
    + You don’t have a degree, who are you to help people
    + You’re really crap at telling stories, without stuttering and getting mixed up – you should be quiet
    + Creating should be hard. If it’s easy – you’re probably not doing it right.
    I’m trying to replace these with the following positive stories:
    + There is room enough for all, including you!
    + Your job is to create – that is all! It doesn’t matter if they like it or not.
    + Just tell the story anyway – who cares if it’s not funny, or is slightly mixed up! Practise the art of speaking up!
    So much love to you, Elle. xx

    • Reply
      Emma
      January 27, 2016 at 4:56 pm

      Oh Elle! Thank you so much for sharing, I think we so often forget how universal these stories are.
      What you have to say is so important and valuable, no word of a lie I was reading your newsletter on branding just this morning and it was WONDERFUL! Again thank you so much for your bravery x

  • Reply
    Carly
    January 27, 2016 at 8:51 pm

    You are a legend and you have COMPLETELY got this, radiant one. Seeing you soaring. Love xox

    • Reply
      Emma
      February 2, 2016 at 8:13 am

      Oh darling thank you, you are such an important part of my journey! x

  • Reply
    Frankie
    January 28, 2016 at 4:02 am

    Great article! We all have these thoughts but for the last 12 months I’ve been trying my best to change my thinking, practice more affirmations and gratitude in the hopes of being kinder to myself. But my mean girl says
    * you’ll never find “the one”
    * you might get married again but you’ll be unhappy again. You’ll just make the same mistakes
    * you’re too hard work. No man will really ever love you and put up with your antics
    * you’re destined to be alone and unhappy
    * you’re running out of time to have kids. You’re gonna be am old mum
    * you’ve wasted the last 10 year’s putting up with a relationship that didn’t serve you and now is too late.

    Don’t know what my future holds. Don’t know if I’ll ever find real love, happiness and companionship. But I’ll keep trying to believe. And keep working towards finding happiness inside rather than looking for it outside.

    • Reply
      Emma
      February 2, 2016 at 8:15 am

      Oh Frankie, this is beautiful. The first (and biggest step) is so often believing! You also reminded me of a few I hadn’t listed that so often come up for me too. Thank you beautiful xx

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